Every once in a while, I humour myself by trying to submit a short story to an online or written publication of some kind. I inevitably receive a rejection letter some 3 months later which I put in an envelope so that when I am a rich and famous writer, I can laugh haughtily as I count gold coins and take a bath in champagne before joyously throwing all the rejections letters up in the air (and no doubt Al Roker will comment on the isolated blizzard over my home).
But today, I received a non-rejection rejection letter. I submitted a story to a publication of He Who Must Not Be Named and I received a form e-mail, telling me that I would not be receiving a rejection letter due to the volume of submissions. It went on in this polite fashion and then was signed ‘sincerely’ by the editorial staff. In short, I was told that I should assume rejection unless otherwise notified.
I’m sorry. But this is completely outrageous! At the very least, I deserve my very own rejection letter. Not this passive aggressive form e-mail sent by intern@__.com. What has the world come to? If I take the time to write a terrible 15 page story, I have the right to know how terrible it is! Not to assume failure unless otherwise contacted!
This is the perfect occassion for a loud ‘HUMPH’!