Full Time Write-ah

I had the day off today, so I decided to take the opportunity to write full time for a day. I consider this the ‘ultimate’ dream. Here’s how it went:

9:30am: Get out of bed (Cut me some slack. It’s a vacation day after all)

9:30am -10am: Open the google reader, check e-mail, and comment on blogs.

10am -10:40am: Eat breakfast, get dressed, and put BBQ pulled pork in the slow cooker.

10:40am – 10:42am: Change my outfit in order to avoid beginning to write.

10:42am – 10:44am: Decide to bring a purple pen instead of a black pen in order to avoid beginning to write.

10:44am – 10:46am: Decide to eat a few jelly-beans in order to avoid beginning to write.

10:46am – 10:50am: Decide to put dishes away from last night in order to avoid beginning to write.

10:50am – 1pm: Go to community garden across the street, sit in an Adirondack chair, and read and analyze with notes Parts II and III of my novel. Discover I am actually engrossed in my own novel (these two parts have been sitting for about a month)

1pm – 2:55pm: Return home, prepare lunch, and decide to revise a bunch of scenes based on my notes.

2:55pm – 3:05pm: Become paranoid that my novel (coming in at 76,000 words) is too short. Frantically google everything I can about word count.

3:05pm: Convince myself that my novel is absolutely too short. Decide to go biking instead of confront this.

3:06pm: Put my biking tights on and decide to calm down. Convince myself that my novel is definitely just the right length.

3:07pm: Put on my shirt. Decide that my novel is absolutely too short.

3:08pm: Put on socks and decide to calm down. Convince myself that my novel is definitely just the right length.

3:09pm: Put on my biking shoes and try to decide whether I’m too lazy to make my novel longer or unable to make it longer.

3:10pm: Fill up my water bottle and convince myself that I’m too lazy to make it longer.

3:11pm: Find my keys and convince myself that I am really just unable to make it longer.

3:12: Find my helmet and convince myself that I’m too lazy to make it longer.

3:13pm – 4:30pm: Take 3 loops around Prospect Park and decide that I can not think about my novel anymore because I have my new clipless pedals on my bike and new cycling shoes and I am now completely TRAPPED on my bike at all times and if I forget to clip out at the right time, I will fall and die. This is an excellent distraction.

4:30pm – 5pm: Return home to an apartment smelling like BBQ pulled pork. Lift weights while watching The Golden Girls. Embrace that fact that my novel might be the right length but that it might not and that I might be able to make it longer but I might not.

5pm – 5:20pm: Begin this blog post. Eat frozen strawberries while smelling BBQ pulled pork. Wonder when Tyler will come home from work so I can eat delicious smelling BBQ pulled pork.

5:20pm – 7:20pm: Work on more revisions. Specifically character introductions of 6 secondary characters and replacing my crutch words: “was” “it seemed” “ridiculous” and “simply”. Receive a call from an agitated Tyler that the F train has suspended service several miles from our apartment. Continue smelling BBQ pulled pork and wonder when I will eat delicious smelling BBQ pulled pork. Then, remember that I am lucky to be a full time writer for a day and do not have to deal with commuting.

7:27pm: Decide to continue writing this blog post since I’ve found and replaced 200 instances of “it seemed”. Determine I will never write “it seemed” in my lifetime in order to avoid ever having to do that again.

7:28pm: Decide that I actually can not look at my manuscript without going completely insane, throwing up, or gaining 500 pounds as I eat ALL of the Easter candy (yes I am almost 30 years old and my mother sends me Easter candy). Dread impending line edits over the next two weeks. Feel proud I worked for a total of 6 hours in one day.

How lucky I am to be a part time full time writer.

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3 thoughts on “Full Time Write-ah

  1. Hilarious. I blocked my crutch word from my mind, but know it showed up 436 times! Also, I'm voting for your book being the perfect length. I'm sure that will become absolutely clear to you. Hang in there w/your line edits!

    Like

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