All right people, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I had to relay this dream I had the other night. Think of it as a public service announcement to all those querying.
In the dream, I had received an e-mail rejection for the novel I am currently writing. Which is only 17K in a first draft and is obviously no where near the query stage.
Anyhow, this is what the rejection (in the dream) said:
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your manuscript. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass on the novel.
I actually enjoyed the read very much and considered offering representation. But when I got to the last page, there was urine on it. I find the fact that you peed on your manuscript very unsettling and I just couldn’t get past it.
[Real Agent’s Name]
So there you have it folks. Whatever happens, resist the urge to urinate on your novel and send it out. It will only lead to heartache. Now you know.