I’ve been feeling cautious, lately. Trying to manage my expectations. I’ve wanted to publish a book since I was a little girl. Sometimes, I see that desire as being too grand. To want something so badly isn’t healthy. It leads to disappointment.
In recent weeks, I’ve forced myself to be so conservative in my thinking that when I send my writing off to anyone, my attitude borders on self-flagellation.
So, this morning, when I read this blog post from my amazing friend Sharon, in which she left us with the question, What will you do when you get a book deal? I immediately shut down. This is not the way to think, I warned myself. These are not the visions to have.
But a little girl, like the one I was, did not question her dreams. She stated them loudly. She talked fast and made big hand gestures as she fidgeted with them. She didn’t wonder what others thought of them. She did not strategize about how to achieve them. She said what will happen before she could possibly know what will happen.
And so, today, in an effort to honor that girl, I will allow myself to answer Sharon’s question.
I will immediately go outside because I really like to be outside. Even if I’m supposed to be at work. Even it’s raining. Even if it’s cold. I will not care. I will go outside and be happy with the news. I will call the people I love. I will find the ones nearby and tell them out loud. I will have champagne. And I will eat the most expensive cheese I can find.