Well, I have to share this story here because there’s no other place for it to go.
Yesterday, while walking home from the train, I walked as I always walk, juggling too many bags, a new umbrella (with an arm strap!) slung over my shoulder because it decided to stop raining for a few peaceful moments. I crossed the bridge over the expressway, turned the corner, smelt the garlic and fish from the neighborhood seafood restaurant, passed the twin trees, and, there, approaching me from the opposite direction was a naked man. Naked man walking.
He was young — I would guess in his twenties. He walked casually. He wasn’t chasing after little kids or flinging violent slurred words at anyone. He was just walking, staring ahead with a blank, almost stoic, expression on his face and he happened to be very naked.
I didn’t quite know what to do. It seemed inappropriate to hold up my phone and take a picture. He wasn’t causing a loud disturbance so it didn’t seem right to call the police. I really had no idea what to make of it, except to keep walking towards him, pass him, and wonder, did that just happen?
I decided it did. Because I heard a car door slam from the side of the road and a man appeared from the driver’s seat and he said to me, I bet you weren’t expecting to see that today.
And when I got to my street, I saw some angry elderly neighbor with her arms folded suspiciously surveying the situation from the corner, and a grumbling, puzzled father telling his young daughter to um, just go back inside please.
So. Naked Man. Walking.
Why? I’ll never know.
Here are my hypotheses:
1. He was on a Mad-Men-Roger-Sterling-like acid trip.
2. He was part of an experimental art troupe.
3. He was the victim of an end-of-year graduation prank.
4. Following the example of hundreds of films, books, and sitcoms with coming of age stories, he was swimming in the crick naked, his so-called friends stole his clothes and ran off laughing, and he had to make the long journey home.
Care to take guess?